Now this is a loaded question. Perhaps it is time to look at your previous sexual history and behaviour so you can be better prepared for bed in this new relationship. And now, the million dollar question: what is your objective, your purpose, your aim with your new partner? If it is merely to have sex, you won’t want to be reading any further. Just do it in the tried and true manner you have succeeded with in the past. If, however, you want an intimate, loving and long-lasting romantic relationship stay with us.

We are not about to give explicit sexual encouragement. Rather we want you to consider:

• are you impatient as a lover? Once aroused do you get the two of you into bed quickly? Then after a little foreplay (five minutes maximum) move towards intercourse?

• are you a patient lover? Perhaps you have worked out the short- and long-term benefits of patience. When you slow down the process of foreplay, often beginning hours before undressing with light touching, smiles, banter and kissing, you build anticipation. Women love it. Men adore it.

• do you have patience with sensual undressing and with foreplay in bed?

• do you experiment with a few positions when you are having sex?

• do you ask your partner what he or she would like and insist on an answer?

• do you check on other days in quiet conversation if there are some other things you can do to enhance the sexual encounters?

• do you mix a good quota of sensuality with your sexuality?

• is your aim to give pleasure to your partner as well as being personally satisfied?

• do you dress to seduce?

• do you consider the very important visual aspects of seduction including clothing, bedroom appearance, lighting and bedding?

When you take a good look at your sexual behaviour you learn about yourself. Have you been really happy with the sex you’ve had in the past? What’s been missing? Your style in bed reflects your personality and behaviour style out of bed. Change one and you change the other. You can’t blame your partner forever

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